I came across an interesting article by sex educator Dr. Yvonne Fulbright, discussing 6 things that women are supposedly “afraid” of when it comes to sex. I seemed to react to all of them, so I figured I’d share them with you; and seeing as she was kind enough to offer some remedies, I think it’s only right that I do the same J
1. She’ll look "fat" in her lingerie.
She says: “While barely-there styles can tap our inner vixen, they typically require a body in peak condition. Lingerie highlights every roll, lump, and flabby area, which reminds her that she’s no Heidi Klum...”The fix: She needs to explore undergarments that flatter her form... turn off the lights or adjust them for mood lighting to invite lingerie loving.
My fix: First of all who wants to look like Heidi Klum?? Aren’t they getting rid of skinny models anyway? Lol. And besides, the lingerie is COMING OFF in 5 minutes tops! C’mon WHO is really thinking about lingerie when it’s time to get down?! If so, the only way to fix the cellulite and flabby areas is to exercise and eat better (also improves sex *wink wink*). Once you see results, I bet you’ll be more confident, and before you know it you won’t even wanna wear the lingerie...or have the lights off! J
“Shawty likes it better with the lights on...”
2. He’ll notice her cellulite or stretch marks.
“As a lover is kissing, massaging, or orally pleasuring your nether regions, thus coming face to face with these natural "imperfections," they can feel magnified. Those unable to get past their negative body image shut down sexually.” The fix: Let her know that you adore her for more than her physical appearance. Give her compliments regularly both in and out of the boudoir, highlighting what makes her sexy. Encourage physical activities the two of you can pursue together, the payoff being that she’ll slowly feel better about her form and more confident in her own, cellulite-splattered skin.
My fix: Again, the only way around fixing these so-called imperfections is to exercise and eat better. Sure, compliments are great; I mean who doesn’t like to get complimented? But these compliments are pointless if YOU yourself don’t feel good about yourself. And besides once things get going are you REALLY thinking about your stretch marks? If so, you know the deal, otherwise you may need to change your batter ladies!
3. Somebody’s response time is going to be "off."
“...she could be worried that things are going to go one of two ways: (1) her partner is off to the races as soon as they hit the sheets; or (2) her arousal and orgasmic abilities will feel delayed. She starts to fret over her lover not lasting long enough for her excitement to match his. Or she’s worried that she’s going to take forever to climax, if she does at all...The fix: If you tend to be a rabbit, don’t turn your sex session into a race, rushing through the entire experience...having her control the rhythm and speed. To amp up her arousal level, pay special attention to her clitoris, maintaining such stimulation throughout foreplay and intercourse...Don’t get caught up in your experience, make it a shared one.
My fix: Who cares who finishes first? I wasn’t aware it was a one-time deal per session kinda things! If people are still having sex like this in 2010 (it’s practically 2010), y’all need to step your cookies up! When it comes to quickies, I get why you won’t be having a sexathon, but if you’ve got nothing but time...just enjoy the ride or rides... “Don’t turn your sex session into a race” I couldn’t agree more! It’s a two person activity; women love foreplay, and the ones that say they don’t are trippin. Get her warmed up, most of you know what women like/LOVE, if not there are TONNES of resources; get your read on!
4. She’ll get pregnant.
“...Concerns over the economy also had approximately half of these women, ages 18-39, focusing more on effective contraceptive use.” The fix: Make sure you’ve got an ample condom supply. Offer to help pay for her gynaecological care and contraceptives. Pregnancy prevention should always be a team effort.
My fix: I agree. There’s a wide selection of contraceptives out there, find the one that’s right for you and you’re good to go... oh and wrap it up before you smack it up! If you’re really worried about getting pregnant, there are other FUN things you could do... let the exploring begin!
5. She’ll get an STD.
“Women are more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) than men. For example, with HIV, a female is twice as likely to be infected by a male as vice versa. Complicating matters is the fact that it’s also harder for women to notice symptoms, since infections are often asymptomatic. The fix: If lovers aren’t abstaining from sex involving the transmission of fluids or skin-on-skin contact, they should use protection to minimize the risk of infection. Women, especially, need to be proactive in protecting themselves...”
My fix: WRAP IT UP. The truth is there are people out there that prefer and do have unprotected sex; I find this happens quite a lot in monogamous relationships, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen in casual relationships. AIDS is real people; that’s all I gotta say. If you think having tonnes of unprotected sex, with lots of different people is “cool” you may need to go back to the drawing board or it’s casket time... just saying J
6. He’s expecting her to perform like a porn star.
“She may be worried about having to perform a sexual act she’s not comfortable with, or maybe she fears he’d rather be watching a porn star than having sex with her.” The fix: Avoid putting pressure on your partner to act out what you’ve seen in porn flicks. By suggesting a sex act, don’t let her know that you saw it in an X-rated movie — frame it as your idea and...Use this as an opportunity to explore what she might want to do. She may surprise you.
My fix: Ladies if you have confidence in your bedroom skills YOU KNOW the only porn star he’s thinking about is the one in front of him, YOU. I don’t know about you but cheesy lines, and even cheesier music, with fake moaning, and “oh yeahs” is not my idea of good sex. On the flip-side, there’s nothing wrong with a little role-playing soooo... why not be his lil porn star? Sex isn’t meant to be a serious activity lol. Go with the flow, experiment, and explore!
Have a great weekend guys!