There is a reason men are stronger than women, less emotionally driven and more logical. There is a reason for this. There are certain decisions and things that come easily to men that are much more challenging for women. Women are strong because they have to be. Women have to be self sufficient because they are forced to be, not because they want to be. Never in my life have I felt not growing up with my dad around mattered, until now. I am going to talk about this 'take-charge' guy who, maybe, should have been in my life all long.
Protect. Men are suppose to defend women in situations and especially from themselves. As a girl growing up, I would never care about the boys bullying me or teasing me, because to my 'take-charge' guy, I would always be the most beautiful and precious girl. With such an affirmation, any childish words or playground banters would roll off me like rain on latex. Instead, I learned to defend myself, establish the right way to see myself, my body image, my everything. I knew who I was because I had to. When it came to dating, my 'take-charge' man would make sure the boy who wanted to date me was 'good enough'. He would make sure he had me home on time, respected me and didn't talk to me the way music taught them, or expect me to act like girls in movies they have seen. Instead, I learned through experience and had to sift the trash from the treasure through heartbreak, tears and that 'i just got kicked in the stomach feeling'. My take-charge guy was the difference between "butterflies in my stomach" before a date and "razor blades if you f*$% with me" attitude. My 'take-charge' guy protects me from other men. And now I do, probably so much so that the 'good' guys find me complicated.
Balance. Men are suppose to use their logical sense to make great decisions for us both. My 'take-charge' man knows that I am steered by my emotions and therefore balances me out by making logical decisions for us. Instead, men use this ability to take advantage - take what they need and then leave. Or manipulate the situation where I am not even sure what I am entitled to when bargaining. My 'take-charge' man would know this about me and let me know what's up, think about and know what motivates and affects me. Growing up without this, I am skewed. I make decisions based on 3/4 emotions and 1/4 logic. My 'take-charge' man not being around sort of has me off kilter - but how would I know that, when it has always been like this? I asked this guy advice about auto insurance and he told me to stop acting helpless. He is right, how dare I expect anything when I am clearly self sufficient.
What does it to feel like to know that no one has your back except yourself? No one is going to stick up for you even if you are right, never mind when you are wrong. What does it feel like when it's you against the world and trust and mistrust is emotional currency of the day? One day, maybe a day just like today you run out, look back and wonder: Daddy, what's up? How am I suppose to recognize a 'take-charge' man when I never had one around? I wonder if you looked at me and thought, she'll figure it out, and let me do just that. Damn right I will, but only because I have to.
Blog for posterity. HeyDoYou is a lifestyle blog that started in 2007. Its love affair with special events, beauty products, street fashion, international trends and shiny gadgets yield over 40,000 readers per month. Featured on National Post, Canada.com, LA LookBook and CBC, CityTV, HeyDoYou is a portal for social media and word of mouth marketing in Toronto, Los Angeles, New York City.
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Beauty x Trends
Yvonne Kai is a social media consultant in New York City. She established her career in Toronto and Los Angeles in various boutique marketing agencies, independent consulting and special events. Available for contract work in online marketing, social media, event planning, product review, media coverage and general creative pow wows. Bachelor of Arts in Communications from University of Western Ontario, Graphic Design from Humber College and Professional Designation in Beauty Industry Marketing & Merchandising from FIDM.
Yvonne Kai is currently in New York working publishing. Focused on employing her talents and energies in the service of a higher purpose, Yvonne is a true Gemini/Cancer cusp.
Food x Travel
Awarded a Grande Diplome in French Cuisine from the prestigious Le Cordon Bleu Paris school of Culinary
Arts, Bella continues to pursue her education goals and is currently completing a Bachelor of Applied Business in Hospitality Operations at George Brown College, where she previously graduated with a Diploma in Hotel Management. Internationally raised, Bella's perfected her ability to adapt seamlessly into a wide variety of environments. With over 5 years of professional cooking experience, she has developed a personal cooking style that is a fusion of a variety of international cuisines. Cutting edge and always innovative, Bella is a true Cancer-Leo cusp. email@example.com
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Shay Ironmonger is currently working in Toronto as an advertising consultant and a special events blogger. Available for contract work in experiential marketing, event planning, product review, and online advertising. With a diploma in advertising & marketing from Sheridan College and Shay is currently completing formal designation in Special Event Planning from George Brown College. Practical and patient, Shay is a Capricorn. firstname.lastname@example.org
June is a Beauty specialist in Los Angeles, California. She is currently a student at FIDM and a social media intern at GeoReach Network. June is our LA correspondant and she is a beach bunny and true So-Cal girl. She loves skincare, hair care, fragrances and color cosmetics. June knows something about everything, a true Gemini. email@example.com